I have predicted the Euro Millions results

Feeling somewhat caught in the iron grip of existential malaise, I am currently creatively deficient. I tried to draw something, and this was all my imagination could offer:

WhatsApp Image 2020-02-08 at 18.05.20

There’s a commonly held notion that depression inspires creativity and has provided us with the greatest songwriters, poets, actors and artists throughout history. Whilst there may be a percentage of such people who suffered from depression at one stage or another, I very much doubt their great works were completed during their ‘low periods’. I say this because I struggle to find a clean sock or locate a pair of pants, regardless of their washed state. Composing a symphony would be beyond me right now. Even glancing over to my sink, where my flatmate’s washing has mounted up makes me want to cry, but I haven’t the energy to do so. My wok teeters precariously on a precipice, waiting to fall and spatter days’ old grease in every direction. That may well be the last straw. I didn’t even use it; I haven’t the energy for such things. The poor thing wasn’t even used properly. He fried bacon in it. My poor wok. Reduced to work like a lowly frying pan because I threw my actual frying pan away; its non-stick coating was being scratched away. I thought it was much like a metaphor, though for what I can’t remember.

After re-reading my last post, I realise it veered off in a slightly weird direction, so I deleted it. For this one, I thought I’d have a look at the news to see what current events I could contrive some anger over. Because that’s all we have now. It’s what we’ve been reduced to. Two sides, yelling at one another, spittle flying from our lips, eyes wide and bulging. What are we angry at? No one really knows.

Having accidentally joint Twitter some time ago, I regularly get emails saying, ‘so-and-so has tweeted some old shit you don’t care about.’ Usually, I ignore these. However, one recently caught my eye. Some fellow called Laurence Fox said something about coming out as broccoli. Not knowing who Laurence Fox is, I good-naturedly gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought it an innocent bit of surrealism. Perhaps, if one were inclined to overthink this brief snippet, I might interpret it as satire, criticising society for still having prejudices one way or another regarding gender or sexual identity. Perhaps I need to explain where I’m coming from here.

  • I am coming out as broccoli.
    • Haha, that’s so silly and banal and I have no strong feelings about it either way.
  • And yet something as trivial as how someone identifies incenses you one way or another or at the very least leads you to gossip? For shame society.
    • Oh, you got me. I have taken a good look at myself now and will let people be who they wish to be without judgement or ridicule.

However, not wanting to jump to this conclusion, I foolishly clicked the email and discovered that this Laurence Fox fellow felt compelled to Tweet this broccoli joke to the masses after reading a different Tweet from one Jameela Jamil stating she identifies as queer. Good for her (there’s no tone in text, but that was meant to be genuine and not sarcastic).

It should be noted that not having a TV license or, more importantly, a TV, I had no idea who either of these people are. Apparently, Jameela is an actor who has been appointed a judge on some sort of dance show linked to the LGBTQ community and this caused some sort of outrage because judges on talents shows are important. Laurence Fox, according to my research, is a cunt.

No, that was beneath me and not helpful to an inclusive debate and I apologise. Laurence Fox is a member of the Fox Acting Dynasty, publicly educated and descendent of one Samson Fox who was so rich he basically funded the Royal College of Music.

I don’t quite know what defines being ‘woke’. Seeing as I operate mostly on autopilot with my brain in power-saving mode, if it has anything to do with being awake in the literal sense, I cannot be described as such. But, since clicking that link the all-powerful machine learning algorithms have pushed more articles regarding Mr. Fox under my nose, mistaking idle curiosity for ardent interest. From this I have discovered that Mr. Fox seems to not like ‘woke’ culture, branding a mixed-race woman racist for suggesting that maybe, being from a white and privileged background, he may not be the best person to talk about the impacts of racism.

He may well have a point, I’m sure many who have suffered in silence may end up standing by him, recalling their own stories of how society has often tried to get them to consider their own privilege for a minute before opening their mouths. Many white, public schoolboys throughout history have been left terrified to walk certain streets at night, lest someone drive up alongside them and suggest they acknowledge their background has afforded them some advantage.

After a while, I started to think that maybe Wanktastic Mr. Fox is a made-up person, as the articles started to get more and more ridiculous. It seemed the idea of a single Sikh soldier fighting alongside white people in WWI was so fantastical that it must have been manufactured solely to irritate him; it was the result of “forced-diversity”. Which is a very bizarre concept when you think about it. If anything, forced diversity is true to life. I experience it every day. It’s a by-product of living in one of these new societies they have these days. I got on a train and diversity hit me in the face like a bag of Walkers MixUps caught in a strong wind. There were black people, brown people, white people, men, women, other. Did I ask for that? No! Did I care? Also no. Do I have the ability to care anymore or am I just dead inside? No more questions, please.

At least Fox was rational enough to admit that he’s not a historian, so he’s willing to concede there may have been at least one Sikh soldier. Though immediately after he seems to suggest that 1917 would have made more sense if that particular scene had  involved a truck filled solely with Sikhs. Worryingly, this seems to hint at a world view where total segregation makes sense. All Sikhs must have their own truck. I’m overthinking again. Anyway, this man is a historian, so maybe he can tell us the truth of the matter.

I’d like to think that most people would read Fox’s attempts at humour with raised eyebrows and think, ‘whilst he is free to say what he pleases, what he says is not pleasing.’ Alas, there are many who support him from what I see on Twitter. Piers Morgan seems to be one. And if you’re ever in a position where Piers Morgan is supporting what you’re saying, you should probably re-evaluate your life choices.

Perhaps I’m just a virtue-signalling whore,  but it’s strange to me that there are so many who seem resistant to diversity or unaccepting of the LGBT movement in a strangely cynical way. There are those that vehemently exclaim ‘there are only two genders.’ I am an idiot who rarely leaves the house, so I am not too sure what the other genders are myself, but I’m sure they’ll exist regardless of my ignorance, much like everything else. Either way, it doesn’t matter too much because, as I said, I’m an idiot who rarely leaves the house, so I doubt it’ll affect me much.

Oh yeah, Tuesday’s Euro-millions numbers are: 2, 7, 11, 29, 27 and the lucky stars are 5 and 3. They’re going with prime numbers.


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