An Idiot reflects on his own Idiocy.

I believe it was Diogenes who first said, ‘Fuck it; what’s the point?’ before climbing back into his jar.

Throughout the course of my life, I have managed to convince people that I am not an idiot. My lost and vacant stare is often mistaken for thoughtfulness. Very rarely, I say something that incorrectly gets labelled as witty. The trick there is to never stop talking. Speak enough bollocks, some of it will be able to pass itself off as something other than bollocks. The fact of the matter is, I am an idiot. The only person who truly understands my level of idiocy is me.

Take my job for example. A marketing man. I don’t know how I got this job and I’m largely left to my own devices, which tends to consist of looking vacant and talking bollocks. Imagine my surprise when a few months into the job I received a pay rise. Whilst I was grateful for this, it did come with quite a large amount of pressure to continue showing a level of competence I demonstrably do not possess.  Because I am an idiot.

I say this because, at some point today, I was about to proffer an opinion on a matter of politics, but due to being an idiot, I don’t know nearly enough to back up or justify any opinions in that regard. Realistically, as a left-leaning liberal, the crux of my political ideology is that we should all try and be nice to each other and share what we’ve got (because we’re all suffering together and will eventually die), my opinion should never really need justifying. However, the oppressive knowledge of my own mental limitations meant I didn’t give my opinion. Instead, I made a flippant remark.

However, thinking about it, I realise I should have offered the opinion anyway. Looking back at recent events and having an unhealthy habit of reading the news, I can conclude that knowledge of any kind has no place in politics. In fact, as an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing day-in-day-out, I am perfectly suited to be a politician, or at the very least a political commentator. It turns out you can just say and do whatever you like.

Apparently, we’re in an age of post-truth politics. There’s such a thing as ‘fake news’. We’ve done it. We’ve finally done it. We’ve finally broken everything. We’ve reached the point where words cease to have any meaning. Words which were specifically developed in order to convey meaning; they don’t mean shit now. This must be a sign that the end times are near. Forget climate change (or the climate change scam if you like; why not? Fuck it), we’re close to breaking the fabric of reality. Soon the weight of human stupidity will be so great that it will swallow the planet.

This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a bunch of fucking idiots.

NOTE: You may have noticed that there wasn’t actually any substance to this blog. Forgetting the fact that there rarely is, this is more a case of someone who is creatively spent desperately flailing about. Think of me as a creative fish, flopping about on shores. Flop flop flop. Dead.



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